I spent years sitting on a spunk stained sofa, being drained and deadened by interminable hours of soul-sapping TV, waiting to become rich and famous, before the realisation that I was probably just going to spend my remaining years on this fucked up planet dragging my skinny arse onto a succession of threadbare seats, staring at the tyranical cathode ray vampire in a succesion of squalid rented rooms and flats began to darken my existence like mildew.